Depression Mixed With Trauma

I have suffered from depression off and on since I started high school.

Autoimmune pain

I had an immune disease that I had been recently diagnosed with, Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. It really affected my life, as there were so many things I couldn't do anymore, and the pain I was in was unreal. So depression hit me hard. I was basically wheelchair-bound, because I could not walk very well, every joint in my feet was inflamed and excruciatingly painful.

Ongoing battle with depression

Then, the depression came and went on for all my life, getting better when my medication finally started really helping me, and then getting worse during the bad times in my life, such as my ordeal with a 3-year narcissistic, abusive relationship. That relationship changed me on a cellular level, and I have been fighting that horrible, dark, depression for 5 years even after I escaped.

Hope for the future

I have had to have years of therapy after that relationship, I still suffer from the effects of CPTSD, depression, and basically no trust in humanity. I'm really hoping that one day I will have the ability to be happy again and smile while I work on my favorite hobby. But until that day, some days are just a fight to stay alive.