ADHD and Depression: How I Finally Understood My Own Diagnosis
Growing up, my brother — older by five years — was diagnosed with ADHD, and it was apparent he had it. He had no focus, his grades weren't great, and he was hyper all the time. On long drives to vacation destinations, he would exhaust us all.
When Sadness Took Over in Junior High
I wasn't like that. I made good grades, was quiet and never acted out. But in junior high, that changed. My grades fell and I was sad all the time. I had terrifying intrusive thoughts that would never relent. I cried constantly and felt empty. In hindsight, I know that I was depressed and had anxiety. Not a lot of people know this, but 50 percent of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age 14, and I was part of that statistic.1
My Depression Diagnosis
I wasn't formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder until college, after my beloved Mema died. I started medication and therapy and struggled with depression all the way into my 30s. After having my children, I had postpartum depression and was hospitalized twice — once for a weekend for suicidal ideation, and a second time for six weeks at a psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation, cutting, binge eating, compulsive shopping, depression and anxiety.
Discovering ECT Treatment
At the psychiatric hospital, I received amazing care. The most helpful treatment was electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) — I feel that it truly changed my life.
When I returned home, I felt so much better and different — happy, in fact, happier than I had ever felt. I became a volunteer for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Greater Corpus Christi chapter and eventually became their Communications Manager. I noticed I still had trouble focusing at times. I'd overlook small details, struggle to follow instructions and constantly procrastinate. I tried focusing harder, but something still felt off.
When My Son's ADHD Diagnosis Revealed My Own
Then one day I took my son to a speech therapist to evaluate his stutter. The therapist confirmed he'd likely outgrow it but suggested I have him evaluated for ADHD — something I'd already suspected.
He was evaluated and did have ADHD. During one occupational therapy session, the therapist asked which parent had ADHD, since it's genetic. That's when the wheels started turning.
My husband had never been diagnosed with anything. But I recalled a statistic from around the time of my son's evaluation: siblings of a child with ADHD have a 30–35 percent chance of having it themselves.2 I thought of my brother, and something clicked: I must have ADHD. The extreme impulsivity, disorganization, forgetfulness, constantly overlooking details — it all made sense. I didn't have hyperactivity like my brother, but I knew from my work at NAMI that ADHD manifests differently in girls and women.1
I talked to my psychiatrist about it. As it turned out, I was already on a stimulant medication (Vyvanse) to help with depression and my eating disorder. Suddenly it made sense why I could hyper-focus on projects and articles when I took it.
Why ADHD in Women Gets Missed
A similar experience happened to a friend of mine. She was diagnosed as an adult and had to navigate the diagnosis and new medications in her 40s. I suspect this happens to many women, because ADHD is frequently misdiagnosed in women and can easily be mistaken for depression — and the two do co-occur.1 Adults with ADHD are almost three times more likely to experience depression than adults without it. Studies have found that 18.6 to 53.3 percent of individuals with ADHD also have depression.3
The more severe the ADHD symptoms, the more severe the depression symptoms tend to be. And because they overlap so significantly, a correct diagnosis is easy to miss.
ADHD Is My Superpower — Here's Why
It sounds strange, but knowing I had ADHD made my life make more sense — it was the missing puzzle piece. I was frustrated and a little sad at first; I didn't want to add to my list of diagnoses. But then I shifted my perspective.
With my son, now nine years old, I always tell him his ADHD is his superpower. He can build intricate Lego sets designed for adults 18 and older, hyper-focusing for hours and beaming with pride when he's done. It gives him confidence.
So I figured I must have a superpower too. I do have hyper-focus. I'm creative, a big-picture thinker, and I have a lot of energy (when depression isn't calling). That helps me serve as Affiliate Leader at NAMI Greater Corpus Christi and fuel my side hustle painting abstract birds, Birdy Girl Art.
Everyone with ADHD has a superpower. You just have to find yours.
It's not the end of the world to have depression and ADHD — with therapy, medication (if that's your thing), and a bit of discipline, you can make it work. Depression has made us into warriors, and ADHD only makes us stronger. And, in my opinion, a lot more interesting.