Depression and Anxiety: Managing Health Conditions

I have Palmoplantar Pustular Psoriasis. This is a genetic disorder that in my case, was kicked in by extreme stress. It took six months to finally get a diagnosis because doctors just don't know about it, and the ten minutes they give you in the office isn't enough time to properly investigate it.

It seemed they prescribed medicines based on a quick guessing game rather than research it thoroughly. During that six months, I could not walk or use my hands. I lost my job. My Mother had to move in to care for me. The pain was excruciating and I wanted to die rather than continue to live in such pain. The prescribed high doses of Gabapentin didn't even touch it. Many people are hospitalized and put on a Morphine drip. That was a luxury I couldn't afford. I almost lost everything because I couldn't generate an income.

Being dismissed at the doctor's office

The specialist that finally diagnosed me took one look at me and knew exactly what it was. He told me that I have an incurable genetic disorder. He also told me that it would eventually end my life. My Mother and I just looked at each other in horror, not knowing what to say. We were totally connected in shock. I had questions. The doctor referred me to a web site!!! He did not say he was sorry or that he would help me. He literally shuffled out two women in such total shock that we could hardly even move. This was abusive, cold and demonstrated an entire lack of empathy. He made his 10 minute target window of time for his patient though.

We returned home and looked up the website and realized there were at least eight ways that this could kill me! The more we read, the more horrifying it was. We went through the Bell Curve of Grief and became stuck in depression. The stress of knowing your days are numbered is immense. It's very different from just knowing that someday you will die.

The despair of living with health conditions

The battle began. It took another year to find something that would help slow down the damage to my body. More drugs, and the pain continued. I was losing hope. Despair begin to take over my life. My kidneys were being damaged and I was mere points away from permanent damage and dialysis.

We finally found a biologic shot that put me in almost complete remission. It was like a miracle. I wish I could say everything went away, but only the pain changed. I was stuck in severe depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). My life had completely fallen apart. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. I was still learning about it all and what I can or can't do anymore-the list of cant's was incredibly long. I could no longer do many of the things I loved. Even showers are limited to three times a week and have to be luke warm. I used to love long hot showers. Now, even the amount of time was limited to 15 minutes.

Health care costs were impossible

The shot cost 25,000.00 and you have to take it 4 times a year. 100,00.00 a year, just to stay alive.

Good health is a rich man's game. What is the point of training, learning, discovering and inventing life saving processes or medications if you base approval for these on socio-economic factors? It's the Caste System, alive and well in the U.S. Who decided that was how it was going to be? I am a very kind, intelligent and resourceful person who is loved by many. I contribute in many ways to society, with a focus on assisting others.

No reasonably priced insurance covers these life saving shots. You basically have to pay it yourself and they offer an insignificant reimbursement. Medicare doesn't cover them either. People have to spend weeks trying to find assistance. If they aren't resourceful, they won't get the help. There is a local college/hospital that offers the help. The company that makes this biologic will assist with full coverage in many cases. They get it. Life or death. The rest of society doesn't get it unless it happens to them. Have we behaved like this forever towards our fellow human beings?

I lost it all due to my illness

My experiences are not those of a certain class. I had it all and I lost it due to an illness that I had no control over and could not afford to maintain through the health system. I was you, the common, average upper class. I had a live aboard sailboat at a marina, a nice house and always drove a sports car. I literally had it all. I have become very well adjusted to a more simple life. I had help from people who love me. I was blessed with a dogged attitude towards surviving. Others are not.

I am concerned about mental health care access

The mental health care industry is just as bad, if not worse. Places that managed prescriptions and mental health care that were based on government funds have been shutting down. Many of the people who were abandoned by these entities wind up on our streets and severely mentally impaired without that assistance. These souls seem to disturb others by merely existing. The masses want them removed, but refuse to support treatments or housing for them. This has been a crisis for eons. The very minimal is being done as people in general would rather ignore it all than speak out about it, change government allocations or dig into their own pockets. Thank God for the people who do. Sadly, there aren't enough of them to make the necessary changes to abolish the issue for good.

I write this not to bring attention to my personal struggles, which have since been solved, but to signal an alert to all of you out there, thinking everything is okay. It's not. It hasn't been for a very long time. We have done embarrassingly very little to change that. People are dying. People you are acquainted with are suffering in silence and embarrassment. I thought everything was okay too. I believe I intentionally ignored these issues because it was ugly and I was happy and content. I have always donated a percentage of my earnings to a couple of charities on a yearly basis. I also held and directed fundraisers for 2 major charities. At the end of the day though, I went to my nice home, ate delicious meals and spent weekends on my sailboat. I guess I thought that was enough to excuse me from engaging in any other activities to help. It wasn't. Things did not change under my watch. I'm not able to do those things anymore.

The kids are not alright.

I, on the part of so many thousands of others, beg of you to do whatever you possibly can to help these situations. The journey of getting care is the stuff of nightmares. It's permanently damaging. It affects everyone who loves the person suffering. It affects the economy, the workforce and your neighborhood. These are your people too. Own it. Change it. Demand improvements! This is literally up to you now. Say it. Not on my watch!!!!