Searching for Joy Amid Treatment-Resistant Depression

Living with major depressive disorder (MDD) is a constant daily battle. One method of coping with MDD is to find your joy. While it is not an easy assignment, it is possible to find joy amid the struggles of MDD.

A diagnosis of treatment-resistant depression

During one of my therapy sessions, the therapist told me I needed to find my joy. That was my homework assignment. I remember instantly thinking that she was crazy. I have been living with MDD for years and it has only continued to become worse as the years passed.

I was recently labeled as treatment-resistant, meaning my depression has not responded to conventional treatments such as medication and psychotherapy. Despite undergoing these treatments for an extended period, there has been no significant improvement in my condition. Since my depression has persisted without responding to these interventions, it is classified as treatment-resistant.

Where am I supposed to find joy?

Yet here this therapist told me to find my joy despite all the darkness that overwhelmed me. This went beyond a short journal assignment. Part of accomplishing this assignment involves analyzing life to discover the moments of happiness and contentment.

There is no one-size-fits-all method for discovering your joy while living with MDD, but it is possible. A couple of the things that can be done to help you find your joy include being mindful of things that make depression better and permitting yourself to do things just for yourself.

I had to put effort into being mindful of what makes my depression better. One would think this would be an easy task, but it was not for me. Over time I was able to analyze activities or encounters and realize that they injected joy into my life.

Where I find my happiness amid depression

One of my realizations was that my dogs bring me joy. I become content when I cuddle with them. I also enjoy playing tug-o-war or fetch with them. There is something about a 4-legged friend that can help my mood improve. They also reduce my feelings of loneliness.

Another discovery was that my nieces bring joy into my life. While I do not have my own children, my nieces fill in that void in my life. My sister involves me in many of the girls' activities. They make me smile and sometimes shake my head at their adventures. I noticed myself smiling more with them and even seeking them out on bad days. So, if you're having difficulty identifying your sources of joy, this might be a helpful indicator.

Finding meaning in my relationships

I have also realized the importance of the various relationships in my life. Some of the most important relationships that I have include my mom, my sister, and my best friend. I can honestly say that these relationships are why I am alive, despite the depths of my MDD. I have learned that I can always count on these people to provide an ear to vent to or a reason to laugh.

I can honestly say it took me time to notice the joy that they brought to my life and the joy I brought to their lives. My mom calls me multiple times a week to debrief. Despite everything, running errands with my sister always had me laughing. My best friend is always ready to get a meal while we talk problems out.

Finding joy through dark times

An important thing to remember is that we all deserve joy and happiness in our lives. Despite the lies that our depression may tell us.

Whether we find joy in playing with our dogs, spending time with family, or enjoying self-care, joy can be found. Remember, finding joy doesn't mean negating the struggles. It's about embracing the light that shines through even in the darkest times.